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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Status Updates!

Here are some good facebook/ twitter/ msn status update ideas :

- Hey baby, wanna come over to myspace so I can twitter your yahoo til you google all over my facebook?

-Pardon me but your status is showing.

-remembers when blackberry & apple were just fruit

-found the pot at the end of the rainbow…too bad the leprechaun already smoked it…

-Relationships are like farts… If you push too hard, things could get messy.

-2012? Seriously I survived 9/11,6/6/6, 9/9/9 , H1N1, Swine flu & Bird flu… bring it on!

-It still haunts me… what I did for that Klondike bar….

-It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There’s clearly room for Vodka…

-Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you….

-is reading other statuses but your status is important to [him/her]. Please stay online and your status will be read in sequence. Approximate wait time 17 min.

- Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.

-Funny how a dollar can look so big when you take it to church and so small when you take it to the store.

-Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.

-shaved my commute time in half by changing my car’s horn to sound like gunfire

- Just farted and it froze. Damn its coooold!

- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

- Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville

-║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95

- Warning: the internet may contain traces of nuts
 
-If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons

- What does a blond owl say? What? What?

- Two people in every one is a schizophrenic

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